Society Report: A Holistic Expo at the New Jersey Convention Center
“Are you from Israel?” the sauna salesman, clipboard in hand, asked me as I sat in the personal-use sauna. “No, I’m from Texas!” I responded. He clarified that he meant, had I maybe been in the Israeli military because I seemed to possess some of the qualities of a woman who had served. This was just as random to hear as it is to write to you, right now, and JUST as alluring. “Something, I thought to myself, “is going on with those sauna sellers!”
Here I was with Viviana at Heart of Oneness, an event that started (for us) as an Eventbrite link texted to me by friend of Very Famous, Annie, who lives in Austin, but has her ear to ground from coast to coast for just this kind of event. The words “Evolve, Emerge, Elevate” flourished in earthy neutrals on the brochure we were handed as we walked inside the New Jersey Convention and Exposition Center. I expected this convention center to be a corporate Edible Arrangements of big glass buildings, parking garages, Embassy Suites, a Courtyard Marriott, etc. It was, instead, a quiet older building surrounded by ambient industry — low-slung warehouse complexes for concepts like “cold chain packaging solutions”, a paving company, window installation, and News 12 New Jersey.
Inside was also industry. This was the intergalactic industry of the self — past, present and future — and there were just as many products and services as the warehouses around us. A chocolate expo was also happening next door. I went through the list of vendors, and these were the types of readings that were offered: ancestral eye readings (irigenics), intuitive, oracle, vedic astrology, table tipping (old school!), tea leaf, clairvoyant, human design, tarot, angel card, chakra, palm. I’m probably missing some!
Now for the psychic mediums, which were many and varied. Ted Silverhand was there, a Native Tuscarora seer and life consultant. Judy Kay, “South Jersey’s Best Psychic Medium”, was seated at a table covered in gold fabric. There were also two different psychic Matts. One Matt sat hunched over his phone, looking like somebody’s boyfriend furtively watching a game at a get-together. The other Matt, quite frankly, gave off stronger and friendlier psychic energy, and Viviana decided to go with him. He was eating what I think was a chocolate bar, which reminded me of the last psychic arts festival Viviana and I went to where they had free double-stuffed oreos and Twix bars. I like that these psychic arts folks have an of-the-people sensibility towards snacks.
Here were the other goods and services available: spiritual healers, EFT practitioners, crystals, restructured water devices, incense, crystal-infused clothing, jewelry, tea, mandala dot paintings, myriad apothecary items, superfoods, AO frequency scanners, vibrational healing cards, aura photography, jeweled aromatherapy, aromatherapy putty, angel intention jewelry, the three S’s (soaps, salves, skincare), dream pillows, spell kits, travel altars, bells, rattles, spiritual clothing, smudging products. There was also a vendor, but just one, selling a book on the dangers of vaccines and “JFK, 9/11, The Fed, Rigged Elections, Suppressed Cancer Cures, And The Greatest Conspiracies Of Our Time”. A few other products: a bathtub fitter, popcorn made by autistic adults, empanadas, baked falafel.
Viviana and I signed up for a free 15-minute EFT consultation, our first conversation of the day with an upbeat woman who told us that EFT tapping and angels helped her deal with the stress of her IT job. The next face I remember is that of a slender, silver-haired man sitting with crossed legs behind a table of jewelry. I felt the hot-faced delirium of being inside a crowded expo center, and I couldn’t hear his voice and I don’t think he could hear mine — our energy, however, did connect. Viviana was looking for turquoise! His necklaces dangled.
I felt I had money for two services. While I couldn’t indulge the idea of paying more than $50 for a psychic reading, for anything involving touch I budgeted $30,000,000. Reiki, I thought, sort of felt like being touched. This is how I ended up at the booth of a Reiki-practicing reverend. A few minutes later, I was lying on a massage table behind a tri-fold divider. The other realms awaited behind these dividers at Heart of Oneness — the folding tables were purgatory barriers for QR code scanning and product demonstrations.
Some vendors didn’t have a divider, which I think was for “this could be you” purposes. You could see the faces and bodies of tri-state denizens, lying in repose as hands glided over them for Reiki, Qigong, etc. One energy-healing vendor had beds set up in rows, making the area look like a sort of spiritual triage center. The voice of Laura Dern’s character in Enlightened swirled in my mind, “My heartbreak, my pain. It feels so easy here.”
A three-for-one deal of essential oil rollerballs caught our eye, and a woman wearing a pointed crystal quartz headband (for example) guided us through choosing carrier oils, crystals, and essential oils. It was a good deal! Viviana’s smelled really nice because she chose rose, mine smelled a little weird because I thought about choosing rose but didn’t. Trust your gut; should have listened to the Reverend!
Jumping back to my Reiki session, the Reverend asked what had been bothering me lately. I couldn’t think of anything in particular, but I knew there was probably something. As I laid there, I became acutely aware that my hands, weirdly, had landed like two finger guns on each hip. When she was done, I sprung up too quickly, causing mild panic for her. “Whoa, whoa, whoa” she said nicely, and instructed me to lay back down and get up again slowly. She told me that she had noticed strong energy around my head, and neither of us were quite sure why. But she did think I was protecting something with my finger-gun hands over each ovary.
Viviana and I waited in line for Diet Cokes and fries, sagely switching our drink orders to Gatorade (thanks to Viviana), and she said she had to wait to tell me the craziest thing a psychic told her. “Not here” she said, as we waited behind a mom and a wet-eyed baby so perfect she looked like a reborn. I’m not sure Viviana would want me to print here what the psychic Matt told her, but rest assured, it was a daytime-TV shocking revelation, a ROLL of the DICE thing to tell someone about their past life. He did, however, offer to spend the last five minutes of their session fixing it.
After that, I ran off to get an Indian Head Massage and Viviana had an egg rolled over her body, upon which the egg was cracked and the yolk analyzed. It was nearing sunset, and we figured we had sailed to the zenith of our time at Heart of Oneness. Viviana, who is savvy in how to have an even better time, thought to ask for two treat bags at the front before we left. Lucky us, we got the last two! Viviana noticed that the woman who gave them to us also snuck in extra hydration drops, which was cool. We oohed and aahed over our Vitamin D-3 (slightly expired, that’s OK), meadowfoam oil, resistance band (just in mine), honey face masks, and ginger turmeric tea.
This, we agreed, had been a perfect day.
June 15, 2022
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