Late Night Real Estate: Basement Jacuzzis in Brooklyn
This week on Late Night Real Estate, the Indoor Pool Real Estate Agency has two special listings, and they both come with jets…
Picture this: The chords of “Evil Woman” are striking up, perfectly synced as you lower yourself into the tub of 1001 Oriental Blvd. in Brooklyn’s Manhattan Beach. You’re renting a six-bedroom home specializing in human-body curves for $11,000 a month because you can. The bathroom tiles fluctuate between a black/turquoise cloud and an indiscernible gold-leaf pattern.
There are sexy undulations all over this house! You’ll hardly have to bump into a right angle, from bathroom sinks to suspended ceiling accents to your conversation den to the very exterior of your home. Ring ring! Your friends call, the ones who things might get weird with. You’ve just elevated your smooth skin out of one tub, but it’s time to drop it right back in another.
You walk downstairs to the basement, pop a bottle, light a few Marshalls candles. No one does basements like you do! Except for maybe that underground bunker in Las Vegas. You turn on the sauna, flip on the HDTV for one of those flickering fires, and get those jets whirling. Just another night in Manhattan Beach…
Picture this: The chords of “In the Air Tonight” start, you have about two minutes til the beat drops. You look in the paneled mirrors of 2136 E. 63rd Street’s bathroom, your visage split between panels while fog creeps up. “Is that black mold?” you ask as your eyes drift towards one ceiling corner of your basement jacuzzi room. Then the steam from the running water climbs higher and your Barefoot spritzer kicks in. You remember that having a basement jacuzzi tub IS a wild ride not meant for everyone.
“Once in a Lifetime” comes on shuffle unexpectedly, and you laugh at the inside joke between you, this song, and everyone who’s listened to it. We never know where we’ll end up! Lathering up with Dove Deep Moisture Body Wash, you trace your finger around the chintzy tiled flowers, deciding not to check your phone for at least another 30 minutes.
