Late Night Real Estate: An Absolute Grotto in Homosassa, Florida
OK, this home in Homosassa, Florida is honestly wild as hell!! Once you scroll past the 20 aerial photos of this home near a state park and all of the wood the color of a Dallas matriarch’s hair, you’ll understand why we had to choose 8022 W. Grove St. for Indoor Pool Real Estate Agency’s much-anticipated return to business.
You’ll also intuit that something larger-than-life is going on inside when you see the five car garages that all look like they come from different homes but also the same home. Two tiny palm tree islets sit in the middle of a concrete bay. A narrow tire path leads unceremoniously to this big, crazy house (ceremoniously). When you see the below aerial photo, it’s safe to say we can all agree that this is a plot of American soil where you can…do your own thing. Careful out there!
So la-di-da, la-di-da, aerial, aerial, aerial, Ashley Furniture HomeStore, Ashley Furniture HomeStore, Ashley Furniture HomeStore, holy shit this hunter’s wife’s living room turns into an absolute JUNGLE! A cavernous hall of Disneyland Jungle Cruise rock is the whole point of this party and every room knows it. The bedroom, the living room, the kitchen, it all comes down to this because sometimes people demand their dreams are turned into ACTION. But just two people can sit in chaise lounges facing slightly askance to the kidney-shaped pool.
Vines crawl every which way over the roof and the pool, and one cigarette-slim red runner rug jogs a marathon the whole length of the room. Each room opens up Holiday Inn Holidome-style to this mega-sized Playboy Mansion pool grotto. A stone bar and fireplace rest behind the pool. Before you even know it, you’re back in Wood World where it’s fall and there are American landscape oils and Pulser “whole body vibration machines” and WAIT THERE’S MORE! The new owners of this home can also be inspired to buy their own massage table for 8022 W. Grove St.’s spa room and a white satin throne the height of the ceiling. There is a funky Baroque (not in a bad way, per se!) situation in the basement.
Towards the end of this listing’s photos, you might feel like your eyes are playing tricks on you. Are we seeing three separate kitchens? A different dining room? Wait, where’s the basement? What is this HUGE new living room with the furniture of a Dyker Heights Italian family? We don’t know either. But maybe, if we’re lucky, we’ll find out!
8022 W. Grove St. in Homosassa, Florida, has 7 bedrooms and 5.5+ baths. It’s selling for $839, 495. From Wikipedia: Homosassa is considered one of the best places in the world to catch Atlantic tarpon. Your new home is also a five-minute drive from Homosassa Springs Wildlife State Park, home to Lu, a famous hippopotamus and retired Hollywood actor who starred in ’60s and ’70s shows like “Cowboy in Africa” and the “Art Linkletter Show.” At 61, he’s America’s oldest hippo!
