
It’s 3 p.m. at…the Barnes & Noble Café
Welcome to “It’s 3 p.m. at…” a fun new column here at Very Famous Inc. where we report on that late afternoon hour when the day has been determined in one way or another. It’s sort of the opposite of the witching hour, a hazy limbo where you just want to sit and stare somewhere. We’re doing just that — sitting and staring somewhere. To begin with, it’s 3 p.m. at the Barnes & Noble Café… you know how we love it there!
INT. BARNES & NOBLE CAFE — DAY
[Scene 1]
The purple-haired barista looks at the cup her coworker hands her. “That says PCP!” she says laughing. “We don’t serve THAT here!” She leans over the counter to tell me to have a good day.
[Scene 2]
Outside in the parking lot, a woman wearing a leopard-print blouse and a neck brace carefully places both feet on the running board of a truck to ease her way in. Her companion watches to make sure she gets in OK. They drive away but come back a few minutes later, and then drive away again. Unclear as to why!
[Scene 3]
“Should I mention you on the application?” barista asks the man who comes up to the counter. He compliments her about the fine service the Barnes & Noble Café baristas provide — better than other coffee shops in the area, he notes. “Taylor” he says, “That’s my wife’s last name. Everyone’s so nice that works here.”
[Scene 4]
Two blonde teens walk out wearing baggy sweats, baggier sweatshirts and masks. They look like they would be really successful on TikTok.
[Scene 5]
“Ma’am, I’m so sorry, the pumpkin cream isn’t actually keto!” barista walking up to a woman sitting by herself at a table.
[Scene 6]
Lime-green car pulls up. Woman with ponytail gets out of passenger’s seat and walks in just long enough to order a Strawberry Acai lemonade.
[Scene 7]
Behind me, a loud, friendly phone conversation begins. I gather that this woman might be the manager (or even district manager) of maybe an Ulta. Here are some snippets:
“I’ll buy one luxury item, and the rest goes into savings,” she tells someone. “Add some zeroes to that five, honey, your bonus is 10% of your salary!”
“Alyssa* bought a Fendi bag with all of her gift cards,” she tells someone named Yvette on the other end. “You know I love Aviator Nation, I’m going to go back and get a pair of sweatpants.”
“I love your energy, Yvette, you always pick me up!…Girl, we’re all crazy, everyone’s crazy on this team, but that’s what works.”
[Scene 8]
A few older men drinking coffee and reading, no screens in site. One gets up and leaves, he’s kind of handsome. Upper middle-aged couple reads books across from each other — wife reads a magazine, husband reads a coffee-table book.
[Scene 9]
“It was Serta, a Serta mattress, and there were bugs coming out of it. Yeah, it’s by the dumpster,” purple-haired barista to coworker.
[Scene 10]
“I know you’re gonna do good, I can feel it,” possible Ulta manager is still on the telephone.
“Bye Yvette!”

Categorised in: Features, Suburban Feelings